tv Today NBC January 7, 2010 9:00am-10:00am EST
we're back now with more of "today" on a thursday morning. it's the 7 day of january 2010. we've got a nice crowd gathered outside on the plaza. standingn front of the 76-foot-tall norway spruce christmas tree here in rockefeller plaza, and if they came down to see it, they're getting it in under the wire, because that tree will vanish tonight, right? >> aww, that's sad. >> magic, poof! >> they're already taking stuff off of it. >> they are. >> but they're using the wood
for the habitat for humanity home. so at least it's going to a good cause. >> that's good. in the past they've grind them up and used the wood chips for camps for underprivileged children and stuff like that. so, there's a social conscience out here on the plaza. >> not just a pretty tree. >> exactly right. out on the plaza, i'm matt lauer with natalie morales and al roker. coming up, people say in the new year, i'm going to change my life, do things for the better. and the advice we're going to give you today is don't bite off more than you can chew. it's the small changes that you make over the next couple months and years that can really help you, and they won't set you up for failure the way the big things you attempt to do will. >> absolutely. >> so we'll talk about that in just a little while. also, a lot of couples may be re-evaluating their relationship because of all these recent scandals, cheating scandals in the news these days, with the tiger woods drama. giving couples food for thought. so, if your spouse is unfaithful, do you stay and fight for your marriage or is it better to walk away? advice on surviving infidelity, coming up.
and on a lighter note, we'll look at getting more living space out of your basement. if you're thinking of getting a play room or workout area, you don't have to call in a handyman. there are things you can do yourself to give you more space and turn it from bleak to chic. >> and we don't mean closets? >> we'll find out. >> another floor. let's get a check of the headlines. ann's inside with that. good morning again. >> good morning once again, matt, and to all of you outside and here watching this morning. in the news today, the white house is making public a declassified report on the attempted christmas day plane bombing, and the president has a comment about the report's findings and recommendations. meantime, the suspect in the case was indicted on wednesday on charges of attempted murder and the attempted use of a weapon of mass destruction. a classified u.s. intelligence report finds that 20% of detainees released from the guantanamo bay prison in cuba have or are expected to have returned to terrorist activities. according to officials, that number rose stlaeyd over the past year because the inmates most recently released were the
ones considered to be the most hard core. this morning, al qaeda claimed responsibility for last week's attack on a cia outpost in afghanistan. as a top al qaeda leader saying it was revenge for the deaths of a pakistani taliban leader killed by a missile from a u.s. drone and for the deaths of two al qaeda figures. seven cia employees were killed in last week's attack. senator john mccain in afghanistan this morning expressed sadness for the loss and also gratitude for the work the cia does there. yet another new surge of cold weather is sweeping across the nation. already windchill temperatures have dropped this morning to 52 below in north dakota. forecasters are expecting more snow today in the midwest. another ten inches in some places that are still digging out from recent storms. residents have been evacuated from around a volcano in costa rica because of smoke and ash pouring out of the volcano. activity at the volcano has increased recently. there hasn't been a major
eruption there in almost 150 years. and a rhode island high school student is doing her part to pay down the nation's $12 trillion debt. inspired by her civics teacher who called on students to take a stand on a social issue, she decided to hold a bake sale to help out uncle sam. and she's raised $50 so far. good for her. it is now three minutes past the hour. let's go back outside to matt, natalie and al. >> thanks. >> every little bit helps. >> that's right. >> that's great, ann. thank you very much. >> i like this guy here. "it's cold. i'm going back to florida." when are you leaving? >> tomorrow morning. >> just when it's going to be getting nice. anyway, have a good time. all right. let's head over this way, got these folks -- they've been here three days. you haven't gone home. >> no. >> where are you from? >> toluca, illinois. >> toluca, okay. how do "pronounce your name? >> it's terrebaschi. >> well, she said it
terrebaschi. >> she's italian. >> they can't agree how to say the name. man, look at these temperatures, it's cold. 33 in havre, 3 in sioux falls. windchills make it feel worse. getting up to 14 in glasgow, 2 below in sioux falls, 10 below in denver. rest of the country, you can see the below-normal temperatures, cincinnati where it's 15 degrees below normal, miami 12 degrees below normal and we're not going to see much of a change. another arctic outbreak comes in over the weekend, another cold morning in florida. it's not until monday when we get a change in the >> we are tracking a system entering the ohio valley, with a dusting of snow later on tonight. mid-thirties and in the m
>> and where are you guys from? >> wisconsin, madison, wisconsin. >> madison, wisconsin, all right. and now let's go back in to ann. >> announcer: "today's daily dose" is brought to you by progresso. you've got to taste this soup. >> al, thanks. this morning on "today's daily dose," realistic resolutions for a healthy 2010. millions of americans who make resolutions break them after just a few weeks, and sometimes the problem is they simply shoot too high. well, nbc's chief medical editor dr. nancy snyderman is back and she's got some advice to help us make healthy resolutions that we can actually keep. nancy, good morning. >> hi, annie. >> okay, before you tell us we have to make our resolutions more realistic, let me ask you -- >> and i don't think resolutions are for everybody, i just kind
of quietly make them myself. >> what are your resolutions? did you make resolutions? >> i did. >> how did you learn how to do them? give us an example. >> i'm going to take my baby aspirin every day and read an hour for pleasure, not related to work. >> an hour for pleasure every day? >> but i get it. if i don't get it i'm not going to put a bullet in my head. i'll read 15 minutes or an hour. but i'm going to read not related to news, which for you and me is a very big hurdle. >> exactly. so, not only are your resolutions realistic, but you're realistic about your ability to keep them. >> yeah. you know what, i learned a long time ago this whole thing of i'm going to lose so much weight and i'm never going to eat this again. they are unrealist. so, i look at things that are going to make my life a little better. i know that baby aspirin's good for my heart and i think reading is good for my heart and my soul and my brain. those two things for me should make 2010 a better year. >> for other people, including for you, actually, and for all of us, you actually do have some resolutions that are, you know, not too hard to keep.
>> right. >> so, you want to add to the things, the goals that we might want to think about to stay healthy, because your goal is to help us all be healthy. so, we've got a little list. you say schedule a checkup. now, that's not hard. >> no. >> just pick up a phone. >> and look at the calendar and figure out when your birthday is. this is the best present you can give yourself. put everything around your birthday. best thing you can do. we talk about these little things -- wearing sunscreen, best way to ward off cancer. now, i'm going to back off for a second. at least go out 20 minutes a day without it to get your vitamin d, but then the rest of the year, use it. go to bed at the same time. it's not so much the length of time you get in bed at night, it's same time to bed, same time to rise. also, don't drink your calories. easy to do around the holidays. you pour a couple glasses of wine. easily 450 to 600 calories before you sit down to dinner. so, back off of the booze new years. that's an easy way to shed a few pounds. >> and use a pad yom better was on the list. >> aim for 10,000 steps a day. those are little easy things. do all of them. >> and you can be realistic.
i mean, some days you're not going to be able to get to bed exactly at the right time. >> yeah. >> and also, you say -- >> you live a little. >> there's technology now available to help us. so, it's really good that we are facing this dilemma now, right? we've got the iphone to help us. >> well, you have great apps on your iphone. you can find all these movement -- little things you can wear around your neck to show how much you're using calories, what your metabolic rate is, you can plug them into your computer. i use an app on my iphone called "lose it!" it tells me how many calories i'm supposed to eat a day, and i find if i log it in right there in my iphone, by the end of the day, i haven't eaten something and forgot about it. there's a green zone and a red zone. it's my favorite app for just making sure that i'm eating a balanced meal through the day. >> i never even knew that existed. for free. >> it's a free app on your iphone. >> we like that, especially these days. let's get to some questions. we have michelle from sherman, texas, and she is on, i think the telephone. hello, michelle. >> caller: hi, ann. hi, dr. nancy. >> hello, michelle. >> i want to be healthier in the
new year, but i work at night and all i do is want to sleep during the day. how do i achieve getting enough sleep and having energy during the daytime hours? >> you know, michelle, you're in a tough spot, because we know that for people who sleep overnight, that is never really a normal sleep/wake cycle, and in fact, the world health organization is even worried that people who work all night long sort of throw out their rhythms and may not be as healthy. so, knowing that's how you are working, schedule some daytime outside time for yourself because you're going to need that sun to recharge your batteries. it could be that you're going from fluorescent light, abnormal light, to sleeping all day long, probably eating high-carb, high-fat foods because that's the kind of foods you crave when your sleep/wake cycle is off, and get a little bit of natural sunshine. >> sounds like some good advice. you've got sharon in north dakota, who sent in an e-mail. "my health goal for 2010 is to get back to the healthy person i was before breast cancer. i've recently moved to north
dakota from california looking for a cleaner life, but i'm tired, depressed, suffering brain zaps, overweight and in general not a healthy person i want to be." she needs your help, nancy. >> so, start from scratch. sit down this afternoon, put pen to paper. one column, things i like about my life, second column things i don't like about my life. and start to knock off in small steps the things that you don't like. but if you've had breast cancer, which is a bump in the road, you've changed location, those are two of the biggest stressors one can have. find your friends, whether they are physically with you or over the web, social websites. you need someone to reach out to. women should not, cannot do this alone. we are social creatures. rely on your buddies. >> i was reading recently something that affected me deeply. it talked about, you know, people are always looking for happiness. if you really want to find happiness, it's really in our relationships. >> and it starts inside. you can't go out and grab it. it grows inside of you. but people who are downers or who suck the life out of you, divorce them.
>> okay. >> surround yourself with people who bring you goodness. >> thanks for the permission, nancy. okay, we've got christine in allentown, pennsylvania. she has got a phone call question. hello, christine. >> caller: hi, ann. hi, dr. nancy. >> hi, christine. >> caller: hi. my husband's finally getting me the gym membership i had been asking for and yesterday was my first day and i already feel like there's just no way i can meet my goals. i had one session of weights and i took a yoga class and i'm already just so sore. can you help me make my dreams of being physically fit by summer come true? >> well, just so you know, everybody in january runs off and gets gym memberships and then fall off the wagon because it's so hard. so, know that you just want to do it a day or two a week and schedule someone to meet you at the gym or have a trainer there. you'll be sore because this is new, but supplement your days out of the gym with simple walks outside. don't try to become superwoman tomorrow. i think that's one of the reasons why weight and eating right, they become such
unattainable goals in the new year. so put on the pedometer, and relish the soreness about your body. >> i think the idea of taking walks is a really good thing. >> and it's good for your brain. >> sometimes when i'm sore, i take a walk and i'm breathing the air. moving is the goal. so, good advice. >> thank you so much. that was great. >> way to go! helping us have a better new year, dr. nancy snyderman. coming up next, five things every woman should learn what to do to save them time and money, what's good for them. also, makeover for your basement. we'll show how you can take it from drab to fab with some do-it-yourself tips. found in healthy skin. e same nutry (announcer) lubriderm® moisture matches the moisture in your skin. skin accepts it better. absorbs it better. and has its natural balance restored for a clinically shown 24 hours. for skin that looks and feels truly comfortable. (announcer) dermatologist developed lubriderm®. your moisture matched. see sundays paper to save over thirty dollars
on lubriderm and other beauty care brands. i reached my weight goal thanks to you so i am ready to get back out there. alright. that's great. i want to personally thank you for 100 calorie hearty chicken rotini. well, it's not just me. you're so funny. i like you. [ male announcer ] progresso. you gotta taste this soup. is showing isabelle that mommy feels confident. be victorious. lose up to 6 pounds... in 2 weeks by taking the special k challenge.
get started at specialk.com. ♪ [ squeak! squeak! ] [ horns honk ] [ squeak! squeak! ] [ squeak! squeak! ] [ squeak! squeak! ] [ squeak! squeak! ] [ birds chirping ] [ squeak! squeak! ] [ male announcer ] toyota is the most fuel-efficient full-line automaker today. [ woman ] oh, there he is. [ squeak! squeak! ] [ squeak! squeak! ] [ male announcer ] good news [ squeak! ] for anyone with a lot of driving to do. [ dog barks ] [ squeak! squeak! ] toyota efficiency.
makeover. with the help of designer courtney kashay, george transformed one woman's space into a warm and inviting rec room. >> hi, my name is danielle, and my problem is my basement. >> danielle, we are going to transform this basement from a dysfunctional space to a family room. >> thank you so much for coming. i'm excited to see the end result. >> we're here to rescue you. >> thank you. >> so, courtney, what are we thinking colorwise in this room? >> okay, so, the principle color we're going to use is this rich, chocolatey brown. it's going to give this room some much-needed color and warmth and really set the tone for the rest of the design plan. in decorating this room, i incorporated tons of different textures and fabrics. we've got plush cottons, buehrle yap, beading, soft, plush fabrics and tons of color. all of it's going to add so much interest to this room.
>> danielle, come on in to your new basement! >> look at the fireplace! look at the rugs. >> come on in. >> look at this rug! >> yeah, everything. >> i'm speechless! thank you so much. >> and she's still holding on to george right now. >> she is. down! >> george is here with some diy tips. so, george, that was an amazing transformation. seriously, how much did that cost? >> well, everything's donated on "open house to the rescue," but that probably would have cost, for a do-it-yourselfer, the most expensive thing is actually doing the fireplace. >> right. >> everything else, uer $1,000. >> wow. that's pretty good. >> yeah. >> now, when you go into the basement, what's the first thing you look at? >> well, start with the ground up, the floor. a lot of people have just a concrete sub floor, and so, a lot of times, people put in carpets, but those are homes for
mold and mildew. a lot of basements get water, so there's really no reason for that. >> i've made that mistake. >> i have, too. a great alternative, people love wood floors, but in the basement it will warp and buckle. a laminate floor, basically, you want to put down a vapor barrier first, which is just a piece of plastic, 15 cents a square foot. then you've got a foam vapor barri barrier. that allows no water to come up. and it's a click-and-go system. >> interlocking some. >> it's interlocking, tongue and groove. >> so no sort of adhesive or anything. >> no adhesive. everything sits on top of this. the only place you actually need to be handy is cutting it down on the edges. >> so, different kind of finishes. >> all different colors. anything you can have in wood -- waln walnut, mahogany, chestnut, anything. >> i love this idea. >> this is what i'm doing in my basement, putting rubber down on the floors. it's good for a home gym, a kids room, a game room. >> and the spills wipe right up? >> wipe right up. mildew and mold-resistant.
>> now, what are we doing here? >> so, you basically have your basement doors, pretty flat and bland. i'm going to put my safety glasses on and give you the nail gun, al. >> okay. this could be a mistake. >> a great way to transform a flat, bland door in your basement -- >> right, yeah? >> -- from a $50 to a $300 door is just by putting it on a ply molding. so, just shoot it right in there. yep, there you go. maybe one more over here? or let's go three. fire in the hole. and there you go. >> nailed him! >> nailed it. >> it's just been revoked. >> and it really is that easy. all this molding right here costs about $8. >> and screens also good? >> screens are great, because in the basement, inevitably, you're going to have your boilers, all those pipes and things that you don't want to see. >> cheap and easy. >> cheap and easy, it will cover it all up. >> george oliphant, thank you very much. and coming up, in the wake of high-profile cheating scandals, can your marriage handle an affair? this year, be victorious...
with the special k challenge. you can have the cereal you love and so much more. design your delicious victory plan today... when you visit specialk.com. ♪ cococome up for a visit. when you visit specialk.com. mom: so we took her to our olive garden. girl: it was really cool just hanging out - the three of us. vo: try our new manicotti formaggio with shrimp in creamy carbonara sauce. or with chicken in homemade parmesan sauce. vo: only at olive garden. so warm, flaky; it might be the last time chips and dip
are invited back. savorings. in the freezer case. from pillsbury. ♪ ♪ [ female announcer ] there's a place called hidden valley. where kids not only eat their vegetables, they can't get enough. ♪ hidden valley ranch, makes vegetables delectable. coming soon, four new ways to make vegetables delectable with farmhouse originals from hidden valley. we're gonna turn right. gps: turn left ahead. i mean left. woman: but gps changed our lives. turbo tax does the same thing for our taxes. it answers tough questions in simple language, getting us to our maximum refund... guaranteed. man: try turbo tax now. [ male announcer ] mary ann is going to demonstrate how easy it is to pay a bill online.
[ keyboard clacking ] [ tea kettle whistling ] beats writing checks. we're gonna have enough. [ male announcer ] with bank of america online bill pay, you choose who to pay and when to pay each bill. pay bills online, keep your budget on track this year with online bill pay. from bank of america. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ mmmmmm. mmmmmm. wow! you have got to be kidding me. 80 calories? light & fit has 80 calories versus 100 in the other leading brand. light & fit. irresistible taste. fewer calories. i love light & fit.
coming up, can your marriage survive an unfaithful spouse? advice on what you need to ask yourself. >> plus, the five things all women should learn how to do. >> and classic pasta with a contemporary twist. chili's new mini tacos in five fresh flavors. like crispy shrimp, hand-battered, cooked until golden brown. and smoked chicken, topped with fresh ingredients just for you. part of our three courses, two people, $20 deal, where you can share an appetizer, choose two entrees, like our fall-off-the-bone tender baby back ribs or a new pulled pork sandwich, and share a dessert. for a limited time, only at chili's. for a limited time, only at chili's. why do women like you love activia light? sometimes i have no choice but to eat on the run... and to eat whatever happens to be around. heavy greasy food that's hard on my diet... and my digestive system. so i eat activia light every day. activia light, with bifidus regularis is clinically proven to help regulate your digestive system.
mmmm. the new taste is better than ever. and with only 70 calories activia light helps make it easier to watch my weight. it helps me feel good and look good too! ♪ activia! you can blow your nose but nothing comes out! advil cold & sinus knows that the real problem isn't always mucus. it's often swelling caused by inflammation in your nasal passages. the right medicine for the real problem is advil cold & sinus with a strong decongestant that reduces swelling to relieve sinus pressure plus the power of advil for the pain. advil cold & sinus. the right medicine for the real problem. ask for the red box at the pharmacy counter.
>> live, local, latebreaking. this is wbal-tv 11 news today in baltimore. >> good morning. i am sarah caldwell. baltimore mayor sheila dixon's historic term as mayor is about to come to a premature end. as part of a plea deal, she will step down from office february 4 and plead guilty to one count of perjury for failing to report gifts of fur coats, travel, and cash from her onetime boyfriend ronald lipscomb. in return, our criminal record remain -- criminal record will remain clear, allowing her to keep pension paid jewels of a
probation sentence and serve community service. stephanie rawlings-blake released this statement -- "this is a difficult and sad time for baltimore. my goal is to make sure that the city is protected and essential services are maintained. i'm urging everyone in city government to do the same, and i have every confidence that city leadership will work cooperatively to ensure a transition to power." she is not only the daughter of a highly regarded maryland lawmaker, but was the youngest person ever elected to the city council, at age 25. she was elected council president in 2007 after serving four terms bridge is a lawyer, wife, and mother of young daughter. >> it is called out there. the temperatures are still below freezing across the board. increasing clouds this afternoon, and winter weather advisory 10:00 p.m. through tomorrow morning at 10:00 a.m.
at you conceit a nice little band of the snow coming in after midnight tonight there is intermittent light activity through a.m. tomorrow morning. -- through 8:00 a.m. tomorrow morning. clear is out tomorrow afternoon. the arctic air into treats the mid-atlantic yet again. for the weekend, below normal. 10 or 12 greece. it will feel like the middle teens. it will feel like a single digits on saturday night potentially. >> we will have another update
♪ got his first guitar at age 11 and ended up being known simply as the king. elvis presley would have turned 75 tomorrow. >> wow. >> we'll take a look back at his career and amazing legacy with his wife prescilla tomorrow on "today." favorite song? >> any one that makes him shake his hips because that's what i
like. >> but you can't see that on the old record. >> no, but you can see it on the videos. the old "rock around the clock" one -- >> prison rock? >> "jailhouse rock." "rock around the clock" was bill haley. >> but i love the way he danced. that was the thing. >> yeah. it's hard to pick a song. there are so many. so many. >> and it fades out at about 3:45 in the record, then they bring it back again. i don't know why, anyway. >> and great ballads, too. >> yeah, good stuff. on a more serious note, coming up, we'll be talking about dealing with infidelity in a marriage. and for every person who's left a relationship for cheating, there is likely another who decided to stay and work it out. so, how do you know what the right move is for you and for your marriage? we're going to hear from the experts, coming up. also, we're going to talk about the things that every woman should know, and there are five things we're going to be talking about today, but actually, there are actually 110 things in this book, including hanging a picture, for example. do you know how to hang a picture?
that's one of the questions. >> yeah. >> we'll be talking about five other things. and what's cool about this book that's just come out from "self" magazine is that the information, the knowledge gleamed comes from grandmothers. they were interviewing grandmothers, the wisdom of the ages, coming up in this half hour. >> like how to make a chicken, things that are going to really -- >> help us. >> -- make life a little bit easier. okay, and you should know how to make a good pasta dish, and in "today's kitchen," rustic pasta with white wine and mushrooms from one of new york's top chefs. >> wow. >> i've always wanted to make fresh pasta. you've done it, right? >> i've done it. >> you have to get the machine, but can you do it without the machine? can you slice it -- >> yeah, but you have to get a rock. >> a rock and a hard place. anyway, before that, let's talk about the weather. we've got al doing that. what about that? all righty, let's show you what's happening with the weather today. we are looking for on the weekend rain in the pacific northwest, sunny and mild through the southwest, showers in florida, snow showers around the great lakes. then sunday, sunday, a look at frigid weather in new england, snow showers the eastern great lakes, clouds in the pacific
northwest, cold weather extends >> strong low pressure already dumped snow in the midwest, moving at a good clip in our direction. by midnight tonight, between midnight and the morning >> and that's your latest weather. >> all right, al, thank you. coming up, some serious advice about whether you should stay or whether you should go if you find out that your spouse is unfaithful. advice on what you should consider. that's coming up right after this. beano prevents gas before it starts.
of finish t dry nse ent. the glass behind it wasn't. for sparkling dishes, try finish jet dry. we think you'll see the difference. most consumers do. finish. the diamond standard. i love hosting the holidays... but after all the rich, heavy food, i was irregular, so my friend recommended the activia challenge. and it worked. i don't know what i like better-- how it makes me feel... or the great taste. ♪ activia! it's my dry skin, and it's deep down uncomfortable. [ female announcer ] new neutrogena moisture wrap body lotion goes deep to heal dry skin at the source. the breakthrough formula wraps and seals more hydration deep inside skin,
so after 12 hours, skin's condition is improved 2x more than eucerin original. now i can heal on a deeper level. beautiful. [ female announcer ] new moisture wrap body lotion. neutrogena skin care. #1 dermatologist recommended. ♪ your cheating heart will make you weep ♪ this morning on "today's relationships," can your marriage survive an affair? with the tiger woods scandal front-page news, it's easy to ask yourself what you would do in that situation. stacy morrison is editor in chief of "redbook" magazine, which recently covered this issue. robi ludwig is a contributor to care.com. hi, ladies. >> hi. >> it's a question we've been asking a lot, given the scandals in the recent days. a question i think people say can go both ways, but can a marriage survive? i guess it depends on how strong the foundation of that marriage
is, right, stacy? >> well, it depends on both parties in the marriage and also depends on the affair. there are lots of different kinds of affairs. obviously, the tiger woods affair is very dramatic, but for a more simple affair, the answer is sometimes, yes, of course you can, depending on what you feel and who you are. >> and we always feel, robi, if they do decide to stay together, it's going to take a lot of work. >> right. >> it's really couples working together, right, to sort through the issues. >> and it's both couples working together and relooking at their relationship, and really, an affair is a conversation that isn't had. so, you really have to understand why did the person have an affair before you can move forward and figure out is this relationship worth saving. >> right, and stacy, you say it's important to really ask some of those questions like the who, what, where, when, why, but how much is too much? >> well, what we found in the article that we did is that often that the cheater would try to hold back information because they were embarrassed and ashamed. they didn't want to keep hurting their spouse. they knew how terrible it had been, so they would shorten the duration of the affair
some details. well, they come out, they do because the spouse keeps asking, but one thing we know that experts recommend is don't overwhelm yourself with details if you're the spouse who was betrayed. don't ask where, how, what did they do together, don't give yourself mental pictures, because if you create a powerful mental picture of your husband with somebody else or vice versa -- >> it's hard -- >> you can't get past it. >> there are mixed feelings about that, because in some cases, the spouse who is betrayed needs to come to terms with the affair and almost desensitize themselves by hearing the details over and over again. >> right. >> so, for some people, it is good to hear the details, for other people -- >> but i think -- >> they don't even want to know. >> and that is the biggest question, can a marriage survive an affair? it depends on the individuals. >> right. >> so, it really comes down to, do you know that you're good at forgiveness and acceptance or do you hold grudges? it's not a judgment to say that we do, but you have to know. >> right. >> and also, how forgivable is the spouse who actually cheated? i mean, i've worked with couples where the spouse, the partner has cheated and he doesn't want
to give up the affair. >> right. >> and he doesn't want to give up -- >> well, that's different. >> like with mark sanford, the governor. >> that's right. >> if he confesses love for this other person, he's my soul mate, can somebody get past that? >> but the truth is, 70% of couples who seek counseling after an affair do make it and it often helps to have that outside person sort things and to keep the conversations focused on how do you rebuild a marriage, not revisiting -- >> and there are going to be stages. >> right. >> like stages of grieving after a death. shock -- >> anger is first. >> anger after the confrontation. what are some of the natural emotions to go through? >> i think, too, a lot of couples expect to get back to where they were preaffair. >> right. >> and that will never happen. your relationship will forever be scarred, so you'll never have that 100% trust level again, but you'll have a more realistic understanding of the person that you're married to. >> right. >> but if you don't have that level of trust ever again in your marriage, are you doomed? >> i think probably a little
bit, because truly, what a marriage is, essentially, it's a relationship that is based on trust and shared goals, and then the additional factor in a marriage, of course, is your shared memories and history. >> right. >> and for many couples, of course, that history includes children. so, it becomes a question of, is the history, the children, the marriage that you lived before have a powerful enough presence -- >> basis. >> -- and permanence that you keep coming back to it. and that's where you go into grief. you think the grief is what you've lost, and then you come into acceptance, where you realize, that isn't gone -- >> right. >> it isn't necessarily gone. >> it's incorporated into the story of the marriage. and so, couples that get through it have a sense of why this happened, what their partner was going through and they realize what's missing in their relationship and try to include it so that their relationship really is different moving forward. >> and what about -- >> one of the couples in our story actually said that they felt their marriage was stronger because it allowed them to have much more honest, open and
vulnerable conversations about what they both needed in the marriage. >> that's right. >> than they had been able to do beforehand. >> what about bringing others in? >> well -- >> obviously, you need a good support system, but how much do you tell your friends, your family? >> i think it's really -- it's very tempting to let your friends and your family help you stoke the anger, but the anger isn't a reuseful stage. it's the shocking stage, and you feel like you can protect yourself when you're angry. >> right. >> ask your friends and family to comfort you and remind you that you're loved and spend time with you. >> right. and i imagine if you're trying to repair this relationship -- >> you may only want to tell people who support your relationship as well. >> because it's an important decision that can only be made by the two individuals in it, and it's easy for everyone to have outside opinions, but the fact is, it's a very personal, quiet path. it always is. >> right. >> and that's what it comes down to. >> all right, well, conversation to be continued. stacy morrison, robi ludwig, great information. >> thank you. >> thank you both. coming up next, five lessons every woman should have learned from heir grandmother, right after this.
still haven't tried activia? listen to this story. i love hosting the holidays... especially for my adorable grandchildren. but after all the rich, heavy food, i was irregular, sluggish. so my friend recommended the activia challenge. activia, with bifidus regularis is clinically proven to help regulate your digestive system. and it worked. i don't know what i like better-- how it makes me feel... or the great taste. take the activia challenge. it works or it's free. ♪ activia!
cococome up for a visit. mom: so we took her to our olive garden. girl: it was really cool just hanging out - the three of us. vo: try our new manicotti formaggio with shrimp in creamy carbonara sauce. or with chicken in homemade parmesan sauce. vo: only at olive garden. give off the warmth and aroma that will delight your family with freshly baked goodness. it's never been easier to bake at home with pillsbury's baked goods. of maxwell house's flavor lock lid. hear that? seals it tight. smells like fresh ground. fresh fresh fresh fre-- that's our favorite part. ...fresh! (announcer) taste why maxwell house is good to the last drop. what doctors recommend for arthritis pain... in your hands... knees... and back.
for little bodies with fevers... and big bodies on high blood pressure medicine. tylenol works with your body in a way other pain relievers don't... so you feel better... knowing doctors recommend tylenol more than any other brand of pain reliever. >> announcer: "today's woman" is brought to you by tylenol. feel better, tylenol. >> this morning on "today's woman," five things every woman should know how to do. they are simple lessons that could save you a lot of money. the current issue of "self" magazine features an excerpt from senior staff writer erin bree's new book called "how to sew a button and other nifty things your grandmother knew." she's here with lucy danziger,
editor in chief. >> good morning to you. >> it's a you can do it book coming out at a time when people really have to do things for yourselves. >> it's about doing everything that's thrown at you and what we realized is that every woman aren't getting the wisdom of the ages sent down from generation to generation. >> how many grandmothers did you interview? >> ten grandmothers from across the country, all of whom survived the great depression and collected their most valuable wisdom, not just cooking and cleaning, but also entertaining and gardening and community and loving. they've been married -- all of them have been married for over 50 years. we have so much to learn from them. >> as you say, you have everything from how to darn wool socks to how to make a bed, how to knit a scarf and also how to make friends. and there's some really, really lovely advice here. for example, value quality over quantity. it's not the number of contacts you have on your iphone that counts, it's the number of friends who will answer your call when you need them.
so, this is exactly the kind of thing we expect to hear from our grandmothers. >> that's right. >> exactly. >> and that's what you put in this book, but included in these are also some ideas, basic things like every woman, you say, needs to know how to sew on a button. >> right. instead of when you pop a button and you're going into a meeting, instead of thinking i should take that to the tailor or dry cleaner, we're going to save you time, money and hassle to show you how to do it. erin's threading it from behind. that's a key thing. you basically want to mark where that button goes and follow the lines of the other buttons. if it criss-crosses, follow that. otherwise, go adjacent. >> i think most women figure this out eventually. >> we do, but i say sewing skips a generation. if your mom sewed, your daughter's going to sew. >> my mother sewed and i can sew on a button. this is yusef, really a delightful guy who likes when a woman puts on a tie for him. >> well, obviously, this is the kind of thing that men show each other, but one day, my child had to wear a tie to school and my husband was on a business trip, and thank god i knew how to do this. >> so, you went under. >> start from the beginning.
>> i go this way twice and then go through. >> there are all sorts of ways to tie ties. >> ah hah, okay. >> the step-by-step guides are online. >> show us your stuff. >> this is the easiest. we have the wide end 12 to 15 inches longer than the skinny end. cross it over and up through the neck loop. >> why can't men dress themselves? because that would be a lot easier. >> ask yusef. so, you swing the wide end to the left -- >> uh huh. >> under to the right. >> under. >> back to the left and up through the loop. >> and then you strangle him. >> yes. >> not too tight. nice, elegant, loose. >> and the most important part is telling him how cute he looks when you're done. >> okay, now yusef is blushing. yusef, thank you so much. you did a good job. >> nice job, model. thank you. >> all right, now, you hear -- >> how to hang a picture. now, this is a big issue because i do this myself but it's always too high, too low and you have holes in the walls. let's talk about how you should do this. >> it should be just above eye
level, about 57 inches from the floor. the key measurement is the top of the wire -- >> you've got to measure this. >> right. >> first figure out where you want it to hang, but then measure where that wire sits and use a hook. a nail at 45 degrees will usually hold, but a hanging hook's much better. >> yeah. anything above 20 pounds you want to use a hanger. >> and these guys are good because if you use a straight nail, it can come down. so these are good. >> basically, measure and put it in at a 45-degree angle, hope that you find a nice, solid wall. otherwise, you really need to use a drill and an anchor. >> okay. very pretty. >> 57 inches from the floor and then level it. >> okay. very pretty. >> so easy. >> how about something that's extremely heavy, then maybe you want somebody to help you. now we get down to brass tacks, we'll talk about how to make a martini, something i don't know how to do. >> it's great drink. you have a party, you want a signature drink. you might offer wine and beer and a signature drink. this is a "mad men" kind of
drink. >> nothing is more classic than a martini. we'll add two ounces of begin gin in a shaker. >> and a grandmother taught you to do this. >> this is something with overmartin luther king that makes it go down a lot easier. >> full ounce of vermuth, okay. >> if you can't find this, use lemon or lime -- >> it's bitter. >> yes. then you stir it up -- >> you don't shake it? >> well, that's how james bond likes it, but this is a proper way. shaking it is much more dramatic. >> i would think more of the ice would melt with the shaking. >> yeah. might go down a little easier. take a liemon twist, rub it around the edge of your martini glass, toss it in, put your strainer on -- >> and there you go. and a toast to you. that's really pretty. thank you so much. the grandmother's wisdom in your book, called "how to sew a button." lucy zahn dig danziger, thank y much. >> cheers to grandmother.
♪ >> announcer: "today's kitchen" is brought to you by maxwell house. good to the last drop. >> this morning in "today's ski kitchen," a hardy pasta dish made simple. the "wall street journal" recently called it one of the three best restaurants of the year. >> that's right, and not too shabby for that, hot executive chef mays robbins is here to show us one of the signature dishes of the restaurant. missy, good to have you here. >> good to be here. good morning. >> "forbes" saying it's delicious rustic italian cuisine with a pinch of sophistication. i might add that we both love it. >> we both love it. >> thank you. >> so, we're making stratki and
fungi. >> yes, a nice winter dish. >> you make fresh pasta. >> twice a day, once for lunch, once for dinner. we started this morning -- >> is it hard to make your own pasta? >> it's so easy. it's eggs, water, flour. and that's it. >> boom. >> and you need one of these little gadgets. >> you can get them anywhere. >> and they're not that expensive. and it's a good workout, too. >> yes, i'm very muscular from this. >> and each time you push it through -- >> it gets thinner and thinner and thinner and the idea behind stratchi is they're very delegate. >> and they're supposed to be little rags, pasta. >> and they're rustic. once you have a sheet like this -- we made one earlier. you can use a roller or take a little knife and just cut. >> that's it. >> cut. yeah. >> now, if you don't want to make your own pasta, you can buy fresh-made pasta, too. >> you can buy fresh-made. let's go over and cook some. you can buy fresh-made, you can use the -- >> or the lasagna sheets and you
can cut them. >> yeah, and i think there's plenty of great store-bought pastas. i like making my own. there's nothing like it. >> true. >> but you can always do it. you want nice boiling water and salted. it's really important. >> when you make it fresh, does it cook in less time in. >> this will take 45 seconds. >> in no time. >> boom! >> and you always want to leave a little time for your pasta to finish cooking in the sauce. >> right. >> and it marries the pasta and the sauce and the pasta absorbs the sauce and -- >> so, this is the fungi part? >> this is the amazing part of the recipe. >> we started with oyster mushrooms, another easy mushroom to find in the stores, not very expensive. there's white garlic, olive oil, mushrooms and veal stock. you can use chicken stock. you can use -- >> vegetable stock, vegetarian. >> absolutely. then we just kind of finish it here with the good stuff. >> that's why it's so good. >> just a little. >> just a little. >> that's a little? >> here, you forgot one. >> just a little. just a little. and a little rosemary and just let it kind of, the butter melt in while the pasta's cooking and
pasta should really only take 45 seconds. >> right. >> and boom, and you spoon it over and -- >> and we finish it up -- >> here we go. we can do a little -- >> fantastic. missy robbins. again, the recipe will be at our website, todayshow.com. thank you very much -- >> thank you for having me. spoon it in. >> makes it even better. >> coming up on "today." >> "american idol's" fantasia barrino. >> and the new movie "leap year." >> live, local, latebreaking. this is wbal-tv 11 news today in baltimore. >> good morning. i am sarah caldwell. baltimore mayor sheila dixon's historic term as mayor is about to come to a premature end. as part of a plea deal, she will step down on february 4 and plead guilty to one count of perjury for failing to report
trapped in the trance of their shopping routine, some people don't notice the difference between meat and mystery when they enter... ...the frozen zone is it real chicken? or something else? some chicken nuggets and tenders look like they have mystery meat. with my perdue frozen nuggets, there is no mystery. just real all-white meat, made with 100% natural ingredients, no fillers, no preservatives,